This is the most common question for young Christians. Should you have sex before marriage?

Watch: Should you have sex before marriage?

DISCUSS

“Sexuality is this deeply sacred, beautiful thing in us, almost very close to our identity, so it almost feels a part of who we are.”

• How is sexuality sacred and beautiful, as part of God’s design? How is the sacredness and beauty of sexuality affirmed in our culture? How is it abused, distorted or cheapened? (give specific examples)
• Does your Christian community affirm sexuality as part of God’s design? Why? Why not?
• What might prevent someone from understanding their sexuality as something sacred and beautiful? What are some other words that you would use to describe sexuality?

“Sexuality is like fire, it can bring warmth in its context, in its boundary – a fire pit or anything of that nature – but outside of its boundary it can wreak havoc … so it really comes down to context.”

• How could boundaries around sexuality enable it to ‘bring warmth’ in oneness? How might a lack of boundaries ‘wreak havoc’? 
• Can sexuality just be a physical thing? Is it always more than that?
• Does it really matter what we do physically with another person if we have feelings for and are attracted to them?

“When we are having sex with someone we are communicating this deep level of oneness that we know we were all created for.”

• Is this always what sex is about?
• What does it mean for two people to become one?

“In sex you are communicating something; you are communicating this deep level of ‘I see all that you are, I see your nakedness, I see all that you truly are, your scars, your pain, I see your life and I still want you. When two people are doing that, that’s what sex is for, that’s what true sex was created for. Now the issue is that I don’t think you can truly have that outside of marriage …”

• How is marriage essential for this experience of sex?

“The challenge is, don’t get in a situation where your body is saying something that you don’t want your life to say.”

• What do you want your life to say? How might you find yourself in a position sexually that would compromise this message of your life?
• In our culture the average age that people first marry is now 32 for men and 30 for women. (In 1974 it was 23 for men and 21 for women). What’s your advice to those who choose God’s design for sex within marriage in their life?
• Will our desire for sex simply be fixed by getting married? Why/Why not?
• What is the place of sexuality for a non-married person? What are healthy ways to deal with sexual desire and energy as a teenager?

Answer the following question in the quiz.

• What 3 points stood out to you the most from this discussion about the clip should I have sex before marriage?